Defining Moments

What if you had the opportunity to turn back the hand of time and erase some of your unwanted memories? What if someone handed you a magic wand and you were able to change the past with a simple wave? You wish right? not a chance in reality! The simple truth is for most of us the things we do in the past stay with us forever. 

Picture of a girl looking sad

Think back as far as you can remember, what was the most stupid thing you ever did? That one thing everyone warned you against but you still went ahead only to regret it later. We all have those moments, those times your Mom warned against marrying that dreamy guy that turned out to be a joke. Or buying that used car that turned out to be a money drainer.  There are defining moments in the lives of everyone, that one decision that either promotes you or takes you back a couple of years. The bad decision to spend money on things you know you can not afford; the unwise decision to settle into an abusive relationship because all your friends are getting married. The ridiculous decision to wear you hair short when you know it took years to grow it in the first place (this one is specially for my African Sistas). 

If only you could just see the future, if only you could just tell what tomorrow would bring; a lot of the things we consider important today will fall short on the scale of relevance.

Many year ago I met a young man who had nothing to offer me but a chance to love and be loved. Of all my suitors he offered nothing of material relevance only a promise of a great future. I weighed him against others and the only thing he had going for him was his heart - filled with honest love and compassion. I judged him for his heart; even against all the pieces of silver in this world, the scale titled heavily in his favor. 

I look back on that decision today and I can see how that single defining moment of choice has made me who I am today - a better person than who I was before I met him. Every woman has her what-if moment, would you share yours? What defining moments are you proud or not proud of? We sure can learn from others.


  1. lol...I see everyone keeping a sealed lip on this. Where are my bold sistas

  2. Hmmmmn...Seye you are asking a big one and that's why the ladies are silent!

    I won't go into the details of my 'defining moment' but I'll talk about how it changed me.

    12 years ago, I made a huge decision!
    At the time, it seemed so simple and humane but it came back to hurt me and for over a decade, I battled with the heartache of it.
    However, I learnt not to be so naive; to consider myself as well as, if not a little more than I considered others. I also found some strength that I did not even know existed in me.
    My faith in God and my loving family helped me to heal and today...My land is green!
    That experience has re-defined me in so many ways and I believe God allowed it, so that my edges could become sharpened. Bisoux.

  3. Thanks for sharing Bisoux. Truly God allow some things to happen in order to reshape our lives. When we allow him work in us we become better people. The process most times is painful but the result is priceless.


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