For better or for worse
In sickness or in health
Till death do us part.
You said those words, and you meant to keep it. Until the last line came true, death came and pulled you apart. How on earth do you deal with that? Many times people marry the one they love, the one they hope to spend the rest of their lives with. They go through the process of bonding, of discovering one another. They learn how to fight fair and to support each other in times of crisis. They grow in love and build each other up in the hope that when the evening comes and their bodies begin to age, they will still have each other to depend on, they would have their love to live for.
Then one tragic evening the lights go out on that dream. On a raining evening not too different from so many they have lived through, this loving couple driving home from work skid off the road and end in the ditch. The car lands on the right side, airbags are deployed. Darkness envelops them for a minute and then the husband regains consciousness. His eyes struggles to focus and finally rests on his wife. He calls her name with all the energy he can muster but her eyes remain closed and her body motionless. Strangers stop to help and within minutes he finds himself being pulled out of the wreck. He struggles to his feet as he watches his wife's body being pulled out of the car.
They lay her down on the ground and begin to check for pulse. His heart stops as he prays earnestly that she would open her eyes. The rescue team appears on the scene and begin a reviving procedure on his wife. He falls to his knees, tears roll down uncontrollably. The rescue doctor checked her pulse again and turned to him. The look in his eyes was final, his life had changed forever. What happened to the dream of growing old together? What will happen to the reality of the life they have built together. What becomes of the memory of the times they spent together?
There are no words to describe the pain, the feeling of loss and helplessness that settles on a person that has just lost someone they truly loved. No amount of condolences can ease the fierce grief that overshadows a moaning soul. You can never truly forget someone you loved and lost to death but time dulls the pain. And if you can no longer have those moments, you can cherish the memories of your time together. Living with loss can be incredibly hard at the beginning but it does get better eventually.
If I was to say something to someone living with loss I would say, "Don't give up on life, keep living".
What would you say?