Who is this I see?

“Daddy’s little girl” is a popular phrase every girl loves—or would love—to hear. The feeling of being loved unconditionally and protected, no matter what, gives every daughter the sense of security that she longs for. It’s also a common saying that daughters marry men who reflect their fathers. So there’s a lot on a father’s shoulders to be there for his daughter and to influence her to make the right choice of the man she will spend the rest of her life with. But the truth is, most times, mothers have the most influence on their daughters’ decision when choosing a spouse–consciously or unconsciously.

It is the lessons you learnt from her and her behaviors that you mirrored from her that have made you into the woman you are today and that have attracted the kind of man you are with today. So our moms stand as a constant reminder of what we will be or not be. It’s important to ask yourself every day as you go through your life–daughter or mom–what reflection does she see when she looks at me?

But it’s not only your mom that you reflect; there may have been a whole host of role models in your life. She could have been a strong independent woman or a devoted housewife whose kids always looked well kept. She could have been the stylish dresser that inspired your sense of fashion or the righteous one who encouraged you to stand up for what you believed? Every girl remembers that woman whose appearance you loved some much and who you wanted to be when you grew up.

So here’s the deal. If young women grow up mirroring other women, wouldn’t you want to ensure that your reflection is one of integrity and grace; two much needed qualities in today’s society. Think about the girls in your life, the ones you have the privilege of coming in contact with. What have they learnt from you? The nanny in your house? The cook that prepares your meal? Your daughter and her friends? The neighbor’s kids or the daughters of a relative? How much do they say about you–positively?

The girl in the mirror you are looking at is a reflection of other women who have had the privilege of being in your life. If you don’t like the reflection you see, then change it, so no girl has to be that person. Break the cycle. Become the woman every girl wants to see as her reflection in the mirror.