Musings of a Single Lady

“Just where are my keys hiding”, I thought to myself as I rummaged through the contents of my handbag. I finally dug it out, let myself into my apartment, and shut the door like I was shutting out the world. If only I could shut out the thoughts and feelings that swamped me now. “Oh God, do I always have to deal with this emotional breakdown in every social gathering?” Listening to couples doting over each other, sharing how they could never have achieved a milestone without their spouse, or even how their lives would never have been complete was becoming uncomfortable. These couples are my friends though, we have shared many joys and hurts, and I truly love them, but sometimes it’s hard to take all that in as a single lady. Was I being jealous or covetous?

On my nightstand was a copy of Germaine Copeland’s book- Prayers that avail much, I turned the pages to Section D- Preparing Self for Marriage. 

     “Father, sometimes being single can be so lonely, so painful. Seeing people in pairs, laughing and having fun, makes me feel even more alone and different.”

I sure could relate with that, and felt quite relieved to know my feelings were not out of place after all! The prayer went on as follows:
   “Lord, please comfort me in these times. Help me to deal with my feelings and thoughts in an appropriate way…”Amen.

Backing up, I realized the hurts I felt were fueled by MY pitiful thoughts towards MYSELF. So I needed to set my thoughts straight. That was, and still is not an easy task! Philippians 4:8 “…whatsoever things are True, whatsoever things are Honest, whatsoever things are Just, whatsoever things are Pure, whatsoever things are Lovely, whatsoever things are of Good report; if there be any Virtue, and if there be any Praise, think on these things.” So what are the true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good, virtuous and praiseworthy (THJPLGVP) thoughts I should feed my emotions? How about this? - I AM COMPLETE!!!

Yes, complete in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am equipped with all that I need to achieve milestones in my ministry, career and life in general with or without a spouse. Marriage is adorable, desirable and at most complimenting. But God completes each person with gifts, and sets us on paths which we would eventually be accountable for as a single individual- just you! I do not want to feel like I have missed out on life- having fun, enjoying great friendships, serving in ministries or achieving my career goals because I thought I was incomplete. While looking forward to being married, I choose to reach out to the heights, reaffirming to myself that I am complete!

Ever found yourself in mind battles or having to counsel friends or families facing loneliness? Share your THJPLGVP thoughts…

Written by Ifejesu Ade


  1. Spot on. It aint easy though to maintain this brave outlook. However, when i do feel down and maybe envious of others, I try to fall back on the Word that says I am complete in Christ and should be content until God's perfect will manifests.

    God bless you for this post! I shared it with another person.

  2. Thanks for sharing, the appropriate time, God will bring everything to perfection.

    Sometimes, it is a struggle dealing with such emotions especially since marriage is a desire God put in our hearts.

    In such times, we all have to trust that He knows what He is doing & He is always on time. So, there's a reason why at this time you are single but He is working all things for our good. (Roms 8:28)

  3. Thanks for sharing.This note is really really appreciated.very important message to me!!!


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