Reflection: Spouse Thingz

Written by Funmi Ilesanmi

There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to choosing a spouse or is there? When love is involved it should be pretty simple, shouldn’t it?  I have come to know that love is a choice – a choice to like and remain with a person despite all odds. Love is not the mushy can't-sleep-without -you feeling that we read about in romance novels, which has in a way given rise to separation, divorce and infidelity in today’s society.

So if love is a choice, how do you know you have made or about to make the right choice in a spouse. The journey begins with asking yourself two questions and answering honestly so you identify adjustments to be made otherwise you just may breeze through life, missing out on the best of it!
  • Do you recognize who you have become ever since you met your spouse?
I believe you know your personality, attitude and character. What you could or couldn't do. Perhaps you were a person with goals, desires and peculiarities before you met your spouse. Are you a shadow of yourself now or a better version?
  • Do you like what you see?
If who you have become ever since you met your spouse is a toxic, broken down or unappealing person then it’s time for a real deep soul search and cleanse. After all, God made you for a purpose before the responsibility of being a spouse came on board.

Based on how you answered these questions, if you barely recognize yourself or dislike who you have become; It's never too late to take back the reigns over your life. To do this requires a conscious effort like taking daily steps towards becoming who you want to be.

Do the evaluation, rediscover yourself again: the things you love that make you "you" and love that 'real you'. When you do you will have a less toxic and more natural relationship.

And if all else fails take it to God in prayer.

Read more of Funmi’s articles


  1. I can't believe I wrote this 4 years ago. Still so useful to me today!


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