Monday, 30 July 2012

The Proposal

Picture of a man kneeling and proposing to his girlfriend

Should he really be getting down on one knee in the middle of a crowded room and professing his love for you in the presence of absolute strangers? Does it matter if he gives you a ring formally or if you both just decide it’s time to tie the knot and you begin to make wedding plans? Are you really that hung up on the proposal or do you just want a good story to tell your friends about in years to come? Whatever scenario you choose to go with, I think it’s important that he formally proposes in a way that’s honest and memorable for both of you. 

I really don’t believe that a proposal should always follow the norm—a dinner setting on Valentine’s day, with him going down on one knee and saying the magic words, “marry me.” I am an ardent advocate for creativity and honesty. I believe that the greatest proposals are the ones in which both people are comfortable enough to say how they really feel about each other without trying to put on a show—except, of course, if that’s the plan. 

So is there an ideal proposal? Well, as long as you hear the words you want to hear, the how is left to your creative minds to design. It would be great to see guys step out of the norm and do something really creative that their partner will cherish and remember for a long time to come. To make the ideal proposal, you first need to understand the person you are planning on marrying. Is she quiet or outgoing? Does she like to be surprised or would she rather be in control? Does she like to make a scene or savor special moments alone? 

Once you have that figured out, then you need to find out what she loves to do. This one should be easy, considering you’ve dated for a while. So if she’s extroverted and loves to take risks, you could consider a bold, showy proposal in the midst of a lot of people, even strangers. But if she is reserved and loves to savor special moments alone, you might want to plan something a little more out of the public eye. The trick is to play around with something she loves.

Depending on what setting you choose for your proposal, you might just be able to skip getting down on one knee (you would still get down on one knee, though, if you chose the dinner setting). If it’s important to her, then you have to do it. At the end of the day what you want is to formally ask for her hand in marriage in a memorable way and to offer her a gift to symbolize your commitment to her from that point on (and that gift is usually a ring; a friendship bracelet no longer works at this point).

You don’t have to break the bank to make a proposal that remains in her memory; you just have to be creative and honest. Whatever you do, just make sure that in the end you audibly ask the question, “will you marry me?”

I’ve heard about really cool proposals, and have been proposed to in a nice way too, but I guess I haven’t heard yours. Would you mind sharing?

4 comments :

Myne Whitman said...

I got one of the quiet ones, just the two of us in a bedroom. It was beautiful :)

Seye Oke said...

Awww that's so nice Myne. I got one of the public ones and literally turned red :) lol thanks for sharing.

Zouzou said...

O my, how did i get here? And why is it it's this post i had to read first??
I should refrain from commenting because my ideas are radical.
But, you gave really cool advise, I hope they adhere....
The experiences I would love to hear are those that possibly backfired cos the guy didn't really understand the girl. I say guy cos they do the proposing.
Great post, glad I stumbled...through The DNW, my fave person.

UZo Okpaka said...

When does the proposal happen? Is it after he has been to see your pastor/ parent? Do you accept a ring before you inform your pastor/family? If they are already aware of the relationshipn and have approved, then it is tending towards marriage. So proposal is just one of those imported over hyped culture.the proposal is " I want us to go and see your parents". Or what else were you expecting .lol.
Ok just to be romantic - find what works for both of you AND pls be yourself and be sincere!